Pattaya Newbie

Pattaya Newbie Tips

Below is a list of tips that should make your trip easier and more enjoyable. The list is aimed at Pattaya newbies but is also applicable to those who have been to Pattaya many times. The list is quite long but I think I have missed a few things so no doubt I will be adding to it over time. Like anything please treat this for what it is and treat every situation on its own merits. The best attitude to go to Thailand with is to go with the flow, be agreeable and smile a lot.

The list is in two parts. The first are general tips and the second are tips about the ladies

General Tips 

• Never travel anywhere without adequate insurance.

• Before booking a hotel make sure there is no extra fee if you bring a lady back.

• Thailand is not like your home. You will find some of the ways the Thais do things annoying. Just remember it is their country.

• All vehicles on the road have right of way as far as pedestrians go. Do not assume the black and white things across the roads are safe pedestrian crossings. Motor vehicles here have no obligation to stop for you if you are crossing on these. When crossing the road always look both ways before setting off. This includes one-way streets

• Never drink the tap water. It is OK for brushing your teeth but try not to swallow it.

• Be respectful of Thai culture and traditions. Do not insult the king or Buddha. It is considered an insult to go in public without a shirt covering the shoulders.

• Also stand for the national anthem when its played at the cinema

• For Thais there is a bodily hierarchy. The head is far higher than the feet with lower body parts being less important. For this reason do not touch a Thais head.

• It is considered rude to show the bottoms of your feet.

• If you are eating with Thais don't blow your nose at the table.

• When using a toothpick, put one hand in front of your mouth

• Always smile and don’t act aggressively

• Don't talk to anyone with a clipboard in their hands. These people are usually promoting time-shares. They are not good investment opportunities! Likewise avoid shaking the hands of the tailors. They are very reluctant to let go.

• Carry small change for the Baht bus.

• In bars check your check bin from time to time.

• You are not obliged to buy lady drinks so be firm but polite.

• Keep tips to small amounts unless you have received special treatment.

• Don’t get involved with drugs. If you do the best you can hope for is contributing a very large sum of money to the police fund. If it is serious or you don't have enough money you may spend some hard time in the 'monkey house.'

• Don’t carry around you foreign ATM card as it will be difficult to replace.

• Only carry as much money as you need.

• Don’t flash a lot of cash or wear expensive jewellery. This only attracts the attention of people who you may not want noticing you.

• Always carry some form of ID. Legally you are required to carry your passport but this is not practical.

• Thais are fairly conservative for that reason avoid showing affection in public. You will not have any problems in Pattaya but you may elsewhere.

• Don’t get too drunk. Other than the obvious dangers the likelihood of mistaking a LB for a real lady has a direct relationship with how much you drink.

• Don’t make plans as plans and Pattaya don't mix.

• Before going join an internet forum. Try to meet a BM or 2 in your first couple of days in town. You will benefit from some local knowledge. Also the guys you meet in Pattaya will be the icing on the cake. Also remember that not all farangs are the type you want to get involved with.

• Don't bring too much with you from home. Anything you forget or need can be bought cheaply.

• Never satisfy the urge to dance on the pole in any bar. You have never disgraced yourself in Pattaya until you have done this. The other customers in the bar will not appreciate it.

• Don't get yourself involved in arguments in Thailand. This includes trying to help in an argument involving a Thai girl. You will only lose

• Shower often as Thai girls do not like the way we smell.

• Like with Thai people you should not let your guard down totally with other foreigners in Thailand. There are some desperate people who live in Pattaya. There is no need to be paranoid just careful.

• Never try to take a photo in a gogo bar. If you need to look at your camera inside a gogo bar make it evident that you are not taking a photo. It is best not to get your camera out at all.

About the girls

• Don’t fall in love

• Always wear a condom and bring them from home.

• Don't go with a lady who is under 18. It is OK to ask to see a ladies ID but remember that there are fake ones around.

• Don’t agree to pick up your bar fine later. If you don’t understand this how would you feel if you got talking to a lady and after a few drinks you decide that you want to take her away from the bar. She then tells you that another guy is coming to get her later.

• Try not to stay with the same lady too long. Many people promote the 3 day rule. This means that you do not stay with the same lady for more than 3 days in a row. This limits the chances of you and/of her becoming too attached.

• If you are going to be a butterfly let the ladies know.

• Always treat the ladies with respect.

• The girls will tell you what you want to hear. Don't take what they say seriously. You are a customer and she is providing a service.

• Don't spin a web of lies to get free services.

• Be wary of freelancers but not paranoid.

• Don't assume that every lady in Pattaya is a prostitute. In some areas (eg Walking Street) it may appear that every lady is but there are always some who are not. If they are interested they will let you know. If they show no interest move on.

• If someone bar fines a lady you like before you don't worry. In Pattaya you only lose your turn. She will be available another night.

• Avoid taking ladies from bars near your hotel. It can make things awkward later when you bring other ladies past her bar.

• Try not to make it obvious that you are on your first visit. Then again I suspect they will be able to smell it from 100m (100 yards)

• Did I mention Don’t fall in love.